Connecting The Dots With Grace

Our youngest son’s wedding last weekend was a necessarily packed experience. 200 miles to a schedule of events in unknown territory. Gathering quickly with family we see once or twice a year. Warmed by friends of the past twenty years, along with loneliness from the limits of these connections. Moved by the beauty of the ceremony while accepting stark differences from the way we did things. Then the afterglow and weariness—for looking back to when we started out.

Such a life landmark reminds me of a common sense approach to dealing with the past.

From school days, a theory of human development from the 1950’s. Erik Erikson’s Eight Stages through life each present a task with a challenge.

For young adults, the primary challenge proposed is Intimacy vs. Isolation, for developing close and committed relationships. During middle- age, the theory says that the primary task is Generativity vs. Stagnation: to find work in which

we feel useful in a lasting way. For us older ones, the challenge is Integrity vs. Despair: finding meaning as we look back. Able to connect the dots and see purpose rather than regret.

Joseph gives us a remarkable example here. Sold into slavery at 17 by his older brothers, he was thrown into isolation (--no chance for intimacy!). For several years he was wrongly imprisoned, delaying “generativity.” Then, at God’s time, Joseph was suddenly given his chance for starting a family and successful vocation.

And when, years later, as prime minister of Egypt, his brothers came to him trembling withgenerational guilt and fear, Joseph kindly reassured

them:

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to save many lives. So, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.

Few can look back without regrets. But finding God’s grace in our journey, we may see

ourselves and family, beyond the disappointments and gaps, as enveloped in our Lord’s loving and over-coming purpose.